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I hear you loud and clear. When I get a massage, I will only let a woman do it, however, when it comes to rectal exams and any other exam of my private man parts, it's only by other men. I always request exams to be done by men...
Whenever I get frustrated with my wife, I remind myself that she is my MATCH!
I can't just take all the good things about her and say I "deserve" it. If there are some challenging things about her, I must be contributing in some way.
That keeps me focused on solving the challenge and making sure I am doing everything in my power to do so.
Maybe that's helpful to the men here as much as it helps me. I hope it is.