Dirty Jokes!

[Richard 0]

We all like dirty jokes! Here's one of mine:

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

Bring it on!!!

[Old Tom 2]

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it.

[RollTideWin 4]

What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? A glad-he-ate-her.

[doughnuts 1]

How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

[whoopinbass 1]

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

[golly 1]

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob." 😆

[catalina201 0]

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"

[MartinD28 2]

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Gagging sound*

[TableCraft 1]

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.

Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

[Wyeth00 1]

What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber!

 

🥒

[CueStick 1]

Why is it better to be a hooker than a drug dealer?

Because you can sell the same crack over and over again.

[sunshine 1]

My love life is nothing to brag about. The last time I was inside a woman, was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

[golly 1]

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

[roundabout50 0]

What type of bird gives the best head? A swallow.